Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas, Everyone

Sugar Cookies always smell better than they taste
Eat a dozen
Stomach ache

Family Feud! Family Feud! - Not seen on TV

Confession: I bit off Santa's head, but it was a cookie.

We're out of eggs
and milk
and bread
and butter

Eggnog
Christmas Carols
My stomach hurts

No one bought gifts for the dog or the cat
Emergency shopping trip!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Santa is on the cross, dying for our sins
Except the cross is a pine tree
And our sins are presents wrestled out of another shopper's hands on Black Friday

The cat knocked over the Christmas Tree
The best ornament is broken

Dad is screaming
Mom is smoking
Someone pretends to be homemaker, peacemaker, undertaker

Inevitably, the fire alarm will go off
and it's a mad dash--a horse race--to wrap the presents

Don't Look! Don't Look! You can't come in

She has more presents than me.

BECAUSE SANTA IS NOT REAL

Out of paper! Out of bags! Out of tape!
Newspaper! Paper bags! Origami!

No pictures. Get that camera away from me.
My hair, make up, nails are not done.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

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