Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The Baby Proposal

Since I don't want to get married but I want to have children, I have asked for a baby proposal.

As you can probably guess, that means I want my partner to propose having a baby with me. Instead of getting down on one knee with a ring to ask about marriage, I want an honest and heartfelt proposition from my Mister about starting a family.


Why?


The Fun of It

Honestly, part of me really wants to have the excitement of getting a surprise proposal from my Mister. I would love a thoughtful or creative announcement that he wants to start the next adventure of our lives.

I want a proposal for something I actually want. I want the surprise. I want the bragging. I want the story. I don't want to "miss out" on that part of life. But there's more to it than that.

Everyone is Ready 
Mostly I want a baby proposal because I want to know he's ready. I know that I want kids in about two years (or less), but I don't want to push or pressure my Mister if he isn't ready. 

I don't want to nag. I don't want to argue. I don't want to beg. I don't want to say: "How about now? Or now? When?"

I want the experience to be positive from long before conception. While I'm sure Mister wouldn't regret the kids, he might end up regretting the timing. He might resent me. With a baby proposal, he gets to choose when. He gets to say he's ready for the BIG commitment. He gets to be just as excited and sure as I am.

Protection
Because he'll tell me that he's ready, he won't--with any credibility--be able to come back and say "I didn't want this" or "I wanted to wait" during a fight. While I'm sure parenting won't be what either of us expect entirely and I'm sure there will be parts we don't feel ready for, we will at least have made the decision together. 

Because he will propose, I can expect him to be involved in the baby process more than just the making.  Because I'm waiting, it means we will be more financially ready. Because the onus is now on him, he is examining what he wants in the future. If babies aren't part of it, then at least we know sooner rather than later.

I'm pretty excited though. Now that it's his decision and I've backed off, he's been the one starting conversations about "our future kids" and looking more deeply at his finances. He's on a quest to go back to school in order to earn more money for his kids and to keep his back from giving out so he can pick them up.
(I say my Mister because I'm with a great man with whom I could see raising a family. If we were to break up and I found a great woman to start a family with, then same difference. Change the pronouns. It's just not my current state of affairs. This is also where everyone gasps. She's bisexual?! Yes.)  
Sidenote: Yes, someone else "popped the question" to me before and I realized right away it wasn't what I wanted with a strong guttural sense. I wasn't excited about it. In fact, I asked to take a nap after the proposal before we told anyone. This was partly because it was the wrong person, partly because I didn't want to get married.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Travel on a Budget: Free Apps for the Road

Before you get on the highway/train/bus, make sure to fill up your phone with these free apps so stave off boredom, find hidden wonders, and get the cheapest gas.

Maps

  • Apple Maps - The default for iPhones even though they are junk
  • GoogleMaps - Reliable
  • Waze - Navigation with live (and specific) updates on traffic


Music and Radio

  • iTunes - Download/Burn CDs in case you lose cell service
  • Pandora - Has a fair amount of ads, can't rewind
  • Spotify - Can rewind and replay tracks
  • YouTube - Latest funny videos
  • Audible - For audiobook listeners


Gas and Bathrooms


Hidden Wonders

  • Yonder - Share outdoor adventures, find cool/hidden spots
  • Along the Way - Searches your route for interesting, local places


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Another Car Accident/Bad Luck Colorado


Here we are again. My blog will be put on hold due to another car accident. Third accident in 6 months and second car to be totaled within the 8 months of moving to Colorado. If you don't remember, the first accident a driver (not paying attention) blew through a red light in his Jeep and T-boned me at the intersection right in front of my apartment.

Last Sunday, a drunk driver rear-ended us a stoplight on the highway, which made our trunk disappear into the backseat. My phone flew out of my hands and I later found on the floor of the backseat. We were pushed through the red light and Boyfriend valiantly steered us away from oncoming traffic. 

Mr. DUI then pushed our car out of the way and continued westbound on Colfax Avenue. We called 911 and waited.


Poor car.

We later heard that Mr. DUI hit another vehicle and continued to run until his car gave out at which time he tried to flee on foot. Luckily, some good citizens caught him and he was arrested. 

He didn't report any insurance and we had to get Geico to do some investigative work with the VIN number. He has something called Viking Insurance, which has horrible reviews, and I'm letting Geico handle it/try to get my $1000 deductible back.

Honestly, I'm so tired. For the next few weeks, I'll be handling insurance claims, GAP coverage claims, and bus schedules; getting medical treatment and police reports; and filing for restitution among many other new responsibilities. I won't be buying a new vehicle either.

On top of all this, we were planning to move at the end of October because our lease is up. We were going to go to Austin, but I'm so burnt-out with the mainland that I'm ready to head back to Hawaii. I've still got to pack everything, sell furniture, and donate excess stuff. I might not have time to post until all this gets sorted out.

While I've had some good times in Colorado, many other things have gone wrong and it looks like it's just a bad luck area so Boyfriend and I will be leaving Colorado on October 31st. Money is tight but we will make it back to Hawaii soon and settle down for good.