Monday, April 21, 2014

The Art of Apologizing Or Being a Better Person: Step One

Recently, I met someone that has made me want to be a better person. And not because he asked me to, but because I want to. This man is the most caring person, where I have been callous and calculating. Even if our paths part ways, I hope to remain amicable, and I hope to serve my memory of him with happy nostalgia. 

In my past and present, I have held grudges to be stubborn and to protect my heart. I spurned and spited people who did me wrong through even the slightest or silliest offense. Years this has lasted. So I am starting my bettering by apologizing to those that I have let eat at my soul and close my heart.
Some I can do face-to-face but living so fafrom everyone is hard, even harder is contacting those that I haven't spoken to in years. In these cases, I am using facebook. (Yes, I am too chicken to use the phone.)
  1. Jen
  2. Cody
  3. Kim
  4. Roman
  5. Gabby
  6. Lamie
  7. Alpana
  8. Michie
Many of these letters are sudden and out-of-the-blue so I do explain why I have waited so long (basically my thoughts above and being a dumb kid) and I close, not with hope of acceptance oforgiveness, but with hope for friendship in any degree. 

The thing about apologizing is that it will impact people differently. Some I recieved no response from while others were very happy I had reached out. And still others had a mixed reactions and weren't sure how to feel. But the biggest thing is that it opened a dialogue with people and, hopefully, is a step in the right direction for them and for me..
Next comes something easier: a list of thanks. A few I have already started on like Lauren, who took me into her family one Thanksgiving. Another is Junette, who gave me a place to live when I had none.

And, when I have thanked those that I need to, I will move on to letters of admiration. These are people I have looked up to or wished to be friends with, but I never had the courage to tell them that they were inspiring. 

I know I'll miss many people and have to add to these lists as I grow. And I look forward to writing to them too. 

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