Wednesday, September 19, 2012

How Hard It Is To Quit

My mom smoked Marlboros for most her life. When she found out they were bad for you, she switched to Lights. I'd wait by the back door, smelling the sweet tobacco slip under the cracks, while I waited for her serve lunch.

When my sisters and I learned about cancer, we set out a crusade. We stole her cigarettes, chopped them up, and washed them down the sink. We banished her from smoking in the car and in the house and posted pictures of dying lungs on every exit.

It didn't even faze her.

My mom could quit everything, but cigarettes and my dad. That's not to say my mom was a quitter, or that she never tried quitting. She would quit cold turkey, use the patch or move out.  She'd chew gum, get a job or get pregnant.

Quitting had a hair trigger though. Six months, nine months, sometimes even a year. Money troubles. Her mother. Our father. And she was right back to it, to him.

I told her once she'd have more money if she stopped smoking a pack a day. She tried to prove me wrong and then told me to mind my business when she couldn't.

"You just don't understand how hard it is to quit."

No, I guess I don't.

1 comment:

  1. Try electronic cigarettes instead. These might have a low content of nicotine but with no tar and other deadly chemicals. It's healthier and cleaner than conventional sticks, but not totally clean. Nevertheless, it's actually worth a try because a lot of quitters have tried using e-cigs before they finally succeeded in ending the habit.