Friday, May 25, 2012

Snow in May and Cannibalism in the Rockies

Today, I'm training at a camp at a Christian-based summer camp out west. I'm in the mountains and it is snowing.

Now, I'm well aware that mountains are colder because of their higher elevation, but we aren't anywhere near the summit. They--the year-round staff--tell me that this is unusual weather. That Colorado is sunny 300 days of the year aside from sporadic showers of lightening, which I may die in if I get caught above the tree-line.

They say it should look like this.

I suppose I should trust the directors and coordinators. However, one spoke mostly of bacon during his orientation speech. He had a stubborn widow's peak despite an obvious affliction of baldness, and 15 pieces of flare on his lanyard. The ex-Brooklynite--I say ex because he has lost his accent completely and I can only take his word on the fact that he ever once lived there--said he'd ordered bacon for us as a break-time snack but the dining staff had given him apples instead. The "apples" became rewards, and he gave us his extension so we could call him when the dining hall actually served bacon. He was fiercely and haphazardly funny; he gave another man a scar after an alpine slide incident involving a ground squirrel.

In any case, he informed us--the lowly seasonal staff--that the weather had been in the upper 90s only two days before. Then again, he also told us to never go on a hike with a man whose name I've forgotten because we will get lost indefinitely and possibly resort to cannibalism.

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